Just the Facts

In honor of Chuck Norris’s 69th birthday, here are some lesser known Chuck Norris Facts:

1. Chuck Norris likes pistachio pudding!
2. Chuck Norris’s favorite movie (besides his own) is The Shawshank Redemption!
3. Chuck Norris owns 26 cowboy hats and 18 pairs of cowboy boots!
4. Chuck Norris is allergic to bee stings!
5. Chuck Norris likes basketball!
6. Chuck Norris has never been to Uruguay!
7. Chuck Norris’s best-ever score in a round of golf is 88!
8. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s not lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down, provided that you are able to perceive the positions of all bodies in the universe and their relationship to one another as essentially arbitrary, in which case you could look at the action from the perspective that the Earth is moving in relation to the position of Mr. Norris and not vice versa, as is the norm!
9. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch “60 Minutes,” because he TiVos it and skips the commercials and then he finds something better to do once Andy Rooney comes on!
10. Chuck Norris once invented special karate jeans (see above)!
11. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch; he DECIDES what time it is! As a result, Chuck Norris often misses appointments!
12. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you, because he always keeps an emergency $20 bill in each boot!